You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
