Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
