I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
