I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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