You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
