Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
