I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
