Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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