I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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