Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Are my feet made of real feet?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
