Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
