you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
