there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
