At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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