Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
