Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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