She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She told me I should be a condom model.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
