Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
