well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
