So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
