so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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