Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
