Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
