Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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