She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
