Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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