Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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