saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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