Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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