It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
