I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
