I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
