Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
