She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
