Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
