I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
