My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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