i think i have two assholes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Randomize
