Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
