white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
