Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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