But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
