the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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