Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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