apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
please come you make the beer taste better
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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