how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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