Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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