he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
