I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
