so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
