is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
