I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
