I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The air was thick with penises
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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