I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Randomize
