WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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