Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
